Wednesday, February 15, 2012

5x18 - The Werewolf Transformation

SPOILER ALERT. Following is the taping report for "The Werewolf Transformation." Please credit me if you share this information anywhere.


Leonard and Sheldon enter a small barber shop. Leonard tells Sheldon he’s going to the store to get a couple things, and he’ll pick Sheldon up when he’s done. Sheldon says he feels better when Leonard stays, but alright.

The barber, Angelo, greets them, and Sheldon says he’s there for his appointment with Mr. Donofrio. Angelo says he’s sorry, but Uncle Tony’s in the hospital right now, he’s not doing so well. Sheldon says, he’s in the hospital? On the day he’s supposed to cut my hair? Why do things like this always happen to me. Angelo offers to cut it. Sheldon says Mr. Donofrio cuts his hair, and he’s not Mr. Donofrio, then adds to Leonard, can you believe this guy?

Leonard asks Angelo to give them a minute. Leonard tells Sheldon that Angelo’s a barber, he can cut his hair. Sheldon says no, he’s a barber’s nephew, and that’s an example of the rampant nepotism in the barber industry. Besides, Mr. Donofrio knows how he likes his hair cut, he has all his haircut records.

Leonard asks what he’s talking about. Sheldon says that when he moved to California, he was nervous about finding a new barber, so his mother mailed all his haircut records to Mr. Donofrio. Leonard says there’s no such thing. Sheldon says yes, there is. Leonard asks if he’s seen them. Sheldon says no, but his mother assured him she sent them, and he’s willing to bet dollars to donuts that Angelo doesn’t have them.

Sheldon asks Angelo if he has access to his haircut records. Angelo asks, your what? On the first take, I think Sheldon just said to Leonard, told you. Then it was changed to, “To paraphrase TS Eliot, this is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a nephew.” Leonard tells Sheldon he’s a grown man, Angelo is a professional, and Sheldon’s haircut is number 3 on that poster from 1946. Sheldon says fine, but if he comes out looking like a dork, it’s on Leonard.

He sits in the chair, and Angelo covers him with a cape. Angelo starts to say something about the weather, but Sheldon says nope, small talk, can’t do it, and takes the cape off and walks out. Then it was changed to Angelo instead saying his kids did the funniest thing that morning, and then Sheldon says he can’t do it and walks out. Leonard tells Angelo, “When you tells this story later, the word we use is ‘quirky.’”


Leonard, Sheldon, Raj, and Penny are eating in the guys’ apartment. Sheldon asks Leonard to pass the parmesan. Leonard does, and as Sheldon puts it on his food, he blows up at his bangs from the corner of his mouth. Leonard asks what he’s doing. Sheldon says he’s trying to get the hair out of his eyes. (His hair still isn’t anywhere near his eyes.) Leonard tells him he’s one day late for his haircut. Sheldon thanks him for captioning his pain.

Howard comes in with a paper that has his training schedule from NASA, and shows it to Raj. Raj reads from it that Howard is to report to NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas, the next day at 8am. (Kunal tripped up over “Johnson” on one take. Simon told him to just read it, and Kunal said it’s right there on the paper. Then on another take Simon flubbed a line, and implied he just did it to make Kunal feel better, and Kunal asked him if he wanted to write his on the paper too.)

Howard says that it’s from NASA, so it’s o-eight-hundred-hours. Raj says it says 8 am. Howard says but you read it as o-eight-hundred. Raj says there’s no O. Howard says, yes, it’s oh-I’m-going-to-space-and-you’re-jealous.

Sheldon starts tossing his head to move his bangs. Leonard asks what he’s doing now. Sheldon says he can’t help it, he’s like a teen heartthrob. Penny says she used to cut her brother’s hair, she could cut Sheldon’s. Sheldon says he appreciates it, here in the city they don’t churn their own butter, or make dresses out of sacks, and they sure as shootin’ don’t let bottle blonde - Leonard cuts him off, and Sheldon apologizes, saying the attitude came with the hair.

Raj suggests that Sheldon use his barber in Beverly Hills. Thy give you tea, and a scalp massage. It’s $300 (or $200 - they changed it on the second take), but if you look to your side, you might see a huge celebrity like Tony Danza.

Howard asks if they really changed the subject from him going into space to Sheldon can’t get a haircut. Raj asks, “Who’s jealous now? OH, it’s you!”

At one point between takes, the cast was set and ready to go from the top, but were waiting for director to be ready, as he and whoever else were finishing something first... So the audience is silent, just watching the cast sitting there. Kunal finally looks up to the audience and just says, "Hi." Then he asked something like, "How's your day so far?" And there was some cheering. Then he said something else, maybe thanks for coming? But I mostly thought it was really sweet how he was talking to the audience.


Amy’s playing her harp and singing the chorus to “Dead or Alive.” She sings, “I’m wanted…” and waits, then repeats it, and waits again. She turns and tells Sheldon, who’s on his laptop at her couch, that that’s his part. He tells her not now, he’s using bing to see if they can make up for their algorithmic sings to find him a new barber. On the first take, Amy finished the chorus herself (on later takes, they cut her singing the rest here). She plucks a few more strings, and tells Sheldon that his hair looks fine. Sheldon says he can’t hear her over her harp and the sound of his hair growing 4.6 something per something.

Amy asks why doesn’t he go to Supercuts. Sheldon says he tried it once, they cut men and women’s hair in the same room, it was like Sodom and Gomorrah with moose. Amy suggests he let it grow a little. Sheldon says sure, and he’ll start wearing Birkenstocks, and assessing his opinion my asking others, “Can you dig it?” He says theoretical physicists don’t have long hair. Amy asks what about Newton and Einstein. Sheldon says this conversation isn’t going anywhere, and tells her to go back to her singing. So Amy goes back to the chorus, “I’m wanted…” And Sheldon repeats, with head shaking, “wanted,” and Amy finishes “dead or alive.”

On the second take, after Amy makes her point about Newton and Einstein, Sheldon’s silent for a few moments, unable to come up with a response. Instead he just sings, “wanted,” and Amy finishes the chorus from there.

On the third take (which there was a long break before, as they rewrote practically the whole scene), back at the beginning, when Sheldon doesn’t come in with his part, Amy tells him that he’s ruining boyfriend and girlfriend sing-along night. Sheldon says that he’s looking for a new barber, and he’s running out of time - his hair is growing at 4.6 something per something… and if you listen, you can hear it. Amy tells him she thinks he’d be sexy with long hair, down to his shoulders… She can picture him on a horse, bareback and bare-chested… Then she stands quickly and says she’s going to brush her teeth, it might take a while. Sheldon stays at his laptop, and from off-screen we hear Amy singing, “on a steel horse I ride.”


Bernadette’s on her bed, talking to Howard on Skype. She asks him how training’s going. He says good. She says to tell her about his day. Howard says oh, where to start… he experienced zero gravity. Bernadette asks how they do that.

Howard says they put you on a small plane, that flies straight up for about 20 seconds. Then it flies straight down, like you’re going to crash. And it keep doing it over and over, no matter how many times you throw up. Bernadette asks, you threw up? Howard says yeah… but the neat part, though, is since there’s no gravity, it just stays there in a little ball. And sometimes, if your mouth is still open, because you’re screaming, it’ll float right back in. The other guys sure laugh when that happens. Bernadette asks, they laughed at you? Howard says he would have laughed too, but he didn’t want to vomit to come back out.

He asks if she could do him a favor, and she says sure. He asks if she can send him some spare underwear. He saw the centrifuge that they’re going to be spinning him around in tomorrow, and he thinks he packed a little light.


Sheldon’s in a hospital room, looking at an old, unconscious man in a bed. Sheldon says hello, and identifies himself. He says the gift shop had nothing barber themed, so he got this - a small teddy bear. Sheldon says he doesn’t know if he can read the small shirt, but it says “Get well beary soon,” and Sheldon adds, “If you were even a little bit conscious, you’d be laughing right now.” He says that studies have shown that patients in a coma might be aware of what’s going on around them, so tells Mr. Donofrio if he can hear him, go away from the light, and towards the sound of the scissors. Sheldon’s pulled out a pair of scissors, and is opening and closing them quickly.

Althea steps in the doorway, and asks if she can help Sheldon. He asks if she can find something he can use for a cape. She says oh, did someone spit out their pills, escape from the ninth floor, and do on a little adventure? Sheldon says no, he’s just here for a haircut, and shows her the scissors. She says okay, and tells him to wait there, she’ll be right back - she leaves and calls for security. Sheldon tells Mr. Donofrio that he’s got to run, but then says to himself, “but not with scissors,” and quickly walks from the room.


Leonard and Penny are playing chess (Penny’s sitting in Sheldon’s spot, Leonard in the armchair). Penny says, so if I put my horsey here, that traps your king, does that mean I win? Leonard frowns, sits back a little in his chair, and says huh. Penny asks does it or doesn’t it? Leonard says that’s actually a good place to stop, it was her first game, chess is complicated, and he threw a lot of information at her. Penny asks again if she won, “Your king can’t go here because of my lighthouse, and he can’t go here because of my pointy-headed guy.” Leonard says, like I said, it’s a complicated game. He starts to put away the pieces, and asks if she had fun, because if so then she won, and having fun is really what’s most important in chess.

Sheldon enter the apartment, and Penny says sorry, she’ll move, and scoots over. Sheldon says it doesn’t matter, his spot, her spot, what’s the difference. Penny asks Leonard what just happened. Leonard says based on her playing chess like Bobby Fisher, and Sheldon not caring that she’s in his spot, he’s guessing that someone built a time machine, went into the past, stepped on a bug, and changed the course of mankind as they know it.

Penny asks Sheldon if something’s wrong, and he tells her that it’s been 6 days since he was supposed to get his hair cut, and nothing terrible has happened. Penny says, I’m sorry? (Second take - “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”) Sheldon tells Leonard to explain it. Leonard says, “He’s crazy. That plus the bug-stepping thing.” (After the first take, he just said “he’s crazy.”) Sheldon says that he’s spent his whole life trying to avoid chaos by organizing his life and structuring everything - their meal schedule, his pajama rotation, charting his bowel movements - but it turns out it makes no difference, it’s all been pointless. Leonard says thank goodness, he’s taking that disgusting chart off the fridge, and he throws it away.

Penny says sometimes it can be good to not know what’s coming, like with her and Leonard - they dated, broke up, and are now trying things again, who knows what will happen. Sheldon says please, everyone knows what will happen, but concedes that she does have a point. Leonard says that maybe a little chaos in his life will be good. Sheldon agrees, and decides that he’s going to embrace the chaos. Leonard asks what he’s going to do first. Sheldon says who knows, all bets are off, the world is his oyster… He’s going to wear his Tuesday pajamas, tonight.

Sheldon heads down the hallway. On the first take, Leonard says, way to embrace the chaos. On the second, instead Penny says, “Are we so sure he’s crazy, because I have the urge to stop him.” Then her line was changed slightly, to, “I know we said he’s crazy, but I have the urge to stop him.” Then they changed it again, so Leonard saying he’s a little worried about Sheldon, and Penny says, “If I were you, I’d be worried that a girl who never played chess before just kicked your ass.”


Bernadette’s on her bed again, talking to Howard once again on Skype. His hair’s practically all sticking up, he’s all dirty, and sort of zoned out looking to the side. Bernadette gets his attention, and asks what happened. He says wilderness survival training. He was going to clean up before talking to her, but blacked out on the way to the bathroom. Bernadette asks, wilderness survival training, is that like camping? Howard says sure, but without any food, or water, or sunset service like at Camp [I-forgot-the-name]. Bernadette asks if they slept in tents. Howard says no, he slept in a hole… that he dug with his own two hands. And in the middle of the night, an armadillo crawled in and spooned him.

Bernadette says something like he’s so brave. Howard says he ate a butterfly. It was so small, but he was so hungry… (I CRACKED UP at the butterfly line… Simon’s delivery here was hilarious.) Bernadette asks if he’s crying. He says he shouldn’t be, he’s severely dehydrated, his urine is like toothpaste. Bernadette says if this is too hard, he can come home, it won’t change how she views him. Howard says no, because then he’d just be a guy who could have been an astronaut, but quit. Bernadette asks if there’s anything else she can do to help. He asks her to send more underwear.


(Pre-taped) Leonard’s in his bed, and wakes up to the sound of bongo music. He gets out of bed, repeating, “don’t be Sheldon with bongos.”

Then (done live) we see Sheldon sitting on the couch, playing the bongos, and Leonard walks in. Sheldon says (to the beat of the music), “Hello Leonard, do you like my bongos? … Betcha didn’t know that I had bongos.” Leonard says it’s three in the morning, he was sleeping. “Leonard sleeps while I play bongos.” “No, he doesn’t.” “Leonard no sleep while I play bongos. Bongo solo!” And Sheldon starts going crazy on the bongos. Leonard yells at him to stop, stop!

Penny comes in and asks what the hell is going on. Leonard tells her Sheldon bought bongos. She asks why he bought bongos. Sheldon says that Richard Feynman played the bongos. Leonard starts to tell Penny that Richard Feynman was a physicist - but Penny interrupts that it’s three in the morning, “I don’t care if he was a purple leprechaun up my butt!” Sheldon starts playing the bongos again, and says, “Penny said ‘was’ but she means ‘were,’ Penny forgot the proper subjunctive.”

Leonard says, oh, roommate agreement! Uh, section… something… hootenannies… um… no music after 10pm! On the next take, it was changed to, “Roommate agreement! No hootenannies, sing-alongs, or barbershop quartets after 10pm!”

Sheldon stops playing again, and asks, roommate agreement? We’re living in a world of chaos, the roommate agreement no longer applies. And he repeats, with a scoff, roommate agreement. Sheldon stands with his bongos and heads for the door. Penny asks where he’s going. He says, “wherever the music takes me, kitten.”

He leaves, and we hear him saying, “I play bongos walking down the stairs.” Then the sound of him and the bongos falling, followed by, “Never play bongos walking down the stairs.”


Howard’s hotel room, he answers a knock at the door to find Bernadette. She says that she came to help him through this, he can’t do this alone, he needs someone to take care of him. And she says if he’s up to it, after NASA puts him through the paces during the day, she can put him through some paces at night. They’re about to kiss, but then Mrs. Wolowitz yells from the bathroom that Howard’s bath is ready. Howard sheepishly tells Bernadette that his mom showed up last night, but don’t worry, he’ll call for a rollaway, and he reaches for the phone.

On the second take, it was the same until Howard’s last line, when he said instead, want to take a bath with an astronaut?

On the third take, after Bernadette’s says he needs someone to take care of him, Howard says he loves her, she says she loves him too, and then Mrs. Wolowitz tells about his bath. Howard says, “My mom loves me, too.”

On the fourth take, they mashed the second and third, using the ILYs, but then following it with the bath with an astronaut line.

And finally, on the fifth take, they did the ILYs, Mrs. Wolowitz yelled that his bath was getting cold, and Howard says, “Tonight, when she’s asleep, I’ll spoon you like an armadillo.”


Sheldon’s asleep on Amy’s couch, the bongos on the side table by his head. Amy, Leonard, and Penny are all standing, looking at him. Amy says he showed up in the middle of the night with his bongos - she mistakenly thought it was a musical booty call. Leonard says, poor guy, he must have been exhausted. Then he bangs on the bongos, and yells, “SHELDON FELL ASLEEP! SHELDON FELL ASLEEP!” (At least that’s what I think it was… it was hard to tell.) Sheldon wakes up suddenly and sits up, but on the first take Jim just had this huge smile right away, and that cracked everyone up.

Amy tells Leonard that wasn’t called for. Leonard says, trust him, it was. Sheldon asks what’s going on. Penny tells him to come home, she’ll give him a haircut. Sheldon says no, he’s not letting her anywhere near him with scissors, she could go on a PMS rage at any moment. On the second take, his line was changed to no, she’s not trained, not licensed, and most importantly, she doesn’t have his haircut records.

Penny says look, they’ve known each other for a few years, she’s taken him to Disneyland, kicked a bully in the nuts for him, sings him soft kitty when he’s sick… he’s even seen her naked once. On one take, Kaley forgot the rest of the line after Disneyland, and trailed off, “I do a lot of things,” and Jim said, “yes, you do.” On the next take, Kaley got stuck at the same part, and said, “mother f*cker!”

Leonard asks, uh, seen you naked? Penny shrugs off that it’s a long story. She promises Sheldon that she knows what she’s doing. Sheldon’s still not sure, and asks Amy for her opinion. She says, “There’s not a hair on my body that I wouldn’t let her trim.” Sheldon finally gives in. He thanks Amy for letting him sleep on her couch, and she says there’s only so many times a woman can ask, how about the bed?

In the hallway as they leave, Leonard asks Penny, what’s this about him seeing you naked? Sheldon tells him relax, it was just the breast and behind.

SCENE 11 (pre-taped)

Penny’s finishing up cutting Sheldon’s hair at her apartment. She tells him she’s almost done. He says that his barber tells a dirty joke at that point. Penny says she doesn’t know any. Sheldon says that’s alright, he doesn’t get them. Penny hands him a mirror and asks what he thinks. He says it’s a little Hollywood, but he’ll manage. (It just looks like his regular hair.) Penny says she’s just going to clean it up on his neck, then she’ll be done.

She runs the electric clippers along the back, but Sheldon laughs and says that tickles. She tells him to stay still, puts the clippers to his neck again, but he laughs again, and moves his head back. Penny’s eyes widen, and she says okay, he’s done. When Sheldon leaves, we see a bald spot on the back of his head. Penny says to herself, yeah, I’m gonna have to move.

After the second scene, as they were getting ready for the third, Johnny came up to the audience and climbed up on the railing so everyone could see him, and took the mike and said he just wanted to thank everyone for being there and supporting the show. He said this was something like their 118th episode… Really it was number 105, but it was the 18th of the season, so he got those mixed up. Johnny also talked about how they had beat Idol in the ratings the past few weeks, and how awesome that was - “The rebels have invaded the Death Star! And by rebels, I mean nerds.” And he said as so long as we keep watching, they’ll do their best to put out the best possible show.


  1. Thank you! Sounds like a funny episode.

    LOL at Leonard finally learning about the Adhesive Duck Deficiency two years later!

    1. I know, I am so happy to hear that it was brought up again. I like when the show gives nods to previous episodes.
      Hope he finds out that Shelly also touched the boob LOL


  2. :D I CAN'T WAIT! This is going to be such an awesome episode! Other than the lack of Raj (which just makes me sad) it's really well balanced and sounds so hilarious! THANK YOU TIMES A MILLION FOR SHARING! <3

  3. It's Lee,
    i got in. :)
    Love the episode. Thanks for doing it.
    Congrats on the blog !!!

  4. Geez, when I went to see the Friendship Contraction they were so boring! No hilarious bloopers or even any recognition from the cast... Even so, I'm still going to try to get tickets again because seeing them tape the show is one of the most fun experiences ever!

    Thanks so much for having the taping report for us. The blog makes it much easier to find. Reading the whole thing is almost as fun as seeing the episode. Thanks again :)

  5. Yeah, finally some penny and sheldon interaction on the show. And they brought up the naked scene again. cool. Can't wait until the promo and sneek peak. Thanks. I did wanted to ask you how you can get tickets so quickly for the shows. I want to go so bad.

  6. Sorry, I'm re-reading this again and the way Sheldon was playing with his hair made me lmao as I imagined it. Teen heartthrob?
    The shamy singing "Dead or Alive" was just too much. When amy sang "On a steel horse I ride...", it sounded like an innuendo.

    1. Its not an innuendo. It's means, pointblank, that Amy excused herself to masturbate (presumably with the use of her electric toothbrush, Gerard) with the fantasy of riding a long-haired, half-naked Sheldon like a horse. She also tries to get him in her bed again by the end of the episode, only Sheldon was too innocent to get the hint and thankfully preferred to sleep on the couch instead. I swear this season's cliffhanger may just be Amy coercing Sheldon to have coitus; and just like last season's stupid plot twist, the writers will decide the whole "will-they-or-won't-they?" shit over the summer, depending on the critics' and viewers' reactions. Predictable.

  7. Thanks bunches for the report as always Ms Roxanne and for the new BBBB (Big Bang Buzz Blog) as well. Anonymous: As for the beloved Roxanne's ninja ability to acquire taping tix ... if she told us she would then have to kill us to eliminate competition so best we don't know :-).

  8. Thanks for the report! I am unclear... does Sheldon actually get his haircut or does it look the same as it has all season? I was kind of hoping he'd go back to the slightly shorter look of previous seasons.

  9. Well, I feel more optimistic about this episode than Rothman Disintegration, that's for certain. Thanks for these reports. They're awesome.

  10. Roxanne! Thank you so much for the report! The tapings, even though fully objective, always have an amazing narrative n.n

    Thank you so much for this and for the work you do to make this available to us :DDD

  11. Thanks you so much for the report, Roxanne!

  12. Thank you for posting, Roxanne! Sounds like another hilarious episode :)

  13. Thanks Roxanne, great as always, thanks for giving us our fix!

  14. links to prior experiencesmakes them more like people and not just random sketches. Links between stories and prior events describe the high art attributed to many Seinfeld episode arc.


  15. Thanks Roxanne!!! Do you know which is gonna be the title of the 5x19 chapter???

    1. Nope! Unless there's a press release prior to the taping, I never know the title until I get there.

    2. The chapter's name of 5x19 is "The Weekend Vortex".....i think it will be about Shamy and Lenny... i'm really excited

  16. Thanks for the taping report! I have seen your fan forum threads before but never bothered to join so I thought this was the perfect time to. I look forward to the episode today!

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